I’m realizing more and more that life is a balancing act. There are so many religious and political questions that don’t have answers. There are plenty of quandaries that do have answers, but the answers aren’t so easy to find.
A new hero in my life is a lady named Ann. She is a sweet woman, maybe in her late 50’s. She prepares lunches on Sundays for the homeless of Orlando at a small church off of Colonial. Anywhere from 50 to 100 people will show up on a given Sunday, and she makes sure each and every one of them is feed twice over, and them given left overs take with them.
When I’m working with her, I can’t help but watch as she would give and give and not even think about it, like it was a reflex. I would say she gave until it hurt, but I don’t think it pains Ann.
Some of the fellas who come early before the lunch starts come into the kitchen and ask if they can have some crackers or something. My first thought is “Hey pal, your gonna be so full you can’t even see in about an hour. Can’t you wait?” But not Ann. She says “Sure. Go ahead and help yourself.”
A guy asked Ann for money last week. I thought of things like “Sure, like you’ll spend that on food” or “Come on pal, you have the nerve to ask for even more when she has given you more than enough for one day as it is?” Without missing a beat Ann went to her purse and got $5 and handed it to the worn down looking man. “That’s all I’ve got. Will that be okay?”
While we were setting up last week a man who had gotten there early was telling me a story about how he had seen Ann driving by the other day as he was walking. Ann saw him too, and asked how he was doing. He said he was hungry, so Ann drove through Burger King and got him two cheeseburgers, a fry and a drink. She came back and saw that someone else was there with him now. She went back to Burger King and got the other guy the same thing.
This is not an image thing for Ann. She isn’t doing this to show off for people at the church, because most people don’t come to help out with the lunch. It’s not for the few of us who see, because even in her daily life she is living with a compassion for others. She is balancing the line of “How much should you give” and not worry about the question of “When is enough?” because she believes the answer is “Never.” and I believe her.
My heart is so black with opinion and accusation sometimes. I pray I become the kind of man who can dish out compassion without blinking an eye, or worrying if I’m being taken advantage of, or coming to a judgemental conclusion about another person.
I hope I can be like Ann and live by action and not have to decide when it is necessary to have compassion for others and when I can just take a break and take care of my selfish needs.
Filed under: Life , Ann, homeless, salami, the balancing act, tight rope
