Patient, Persistant

“Too many people wait until they have all the answers before starting the journey.” So true in my life. Chances are here, and I’m jumping on.

- Grand Rapids has this tight knit family of production crew. Orlando was tight because of the Full Sail connections. Grand Rapids is tight because of a passion. Money is probably involved too. But not with the men and women I’ve met. So solid.

- Marriage is the best.

- I am surrounded by inspiration and visual melody. The camera will be clicking this week.

- I’m not sure what the next year holds, but the hands of time never lets loose it’s grip. It’s gonna hold something, and I’m gonna walk through it.

“…Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.”
– Nehemiah 4:14

Filed under: Life , Grand Rapids, Inspiration, Life, Marriage, Nehemiah, Nehemiah 4:14, Patient, Persistant, Photography, Production Crew

Dad

To a man who’s shoes are hard for anyone to fill
and it’s not because they’re size 16
it’s because they’ve walked miles and centuries and galaxies and universes
at least thats what it seemed like it when I was 6 years old
but I’m beginning to believe it again now that I’m older

Because you always tell me never to give up the dream
even though you gave yours up to raise a family
but maybe that was your dream

And you’ve never said anything coarse about my mother
not even a joke around the boys
even though your one of the funniest guys I’ve ever met
the women in your life are sacred and porcelain

A gentle giant to say the least
all six feet seven inches of you
you were made that way because your heart couldn’t possibly fit
inside a bodily infrastructure any smaller

To a man who has had dozens of jobs
and have been good at every one of them
you fix everything
electrical, carpentry, mechanical,
philosophical, societal, communal,
emotional, hopeless, faithless
you fix everything

I wish I could explain you to people who’ve never known you
I wish I could write something about you that flowed coherently
but there are so many things to touch on that it’s hard to put honor to it in writing

Your name mentioned in the county you’ve lived in most of your life
evokes half cantaloupe smiles and warm stories of
life and love and how the two of them are the same to you

I’ve witnessed the darkest of hearts proclaim you wiser than any priest they’ve ever known
I’ve seen ball players and seasoned musicians who have more awards and honors
but don’t even come close to touching the things your accomplished.
I have not met a man I want to be more like than you.

I hope I can give your name honor in the years to come
I hope I can raise the stakes in my life and take a gamble on love like you do every day
I hope I can leave this earth having made it a better place like you have.
I love you, Dad.

Filed under: Life, Poetry , Dad, Life, Love

Firestarter

I’ve been in a white walled cocoon for the past two weeks. My face has a light blue hue from all the time spent in front of a monitor editing video, proofreading resume drafts, and lifting up search result hyperlink rocks in Google to find production companies and odd jobs. My computer runs on AC/DC. My body runs on water/oatmeal.

Budgeting gets real. Every quarter is step closer to rent. My current situation doesn’t fit comfortably into a Dave Ramsey book, but I’m richer than 89 percent of Earth’s population. I was born into responsibility to contribute locally and globally. I need to keep perspective.

I haven’t made the time to get out of this packing crate often enough. I think some inspiration has been squashed due to the cabin fever. My bike is here now, so that will help. I’m awakened creatively in motion and out of doors. But sometimes you just have to take the blinders off and see what your not seeing in the other places.

Some footnotes:
- I have a place to life with my wife in the fall
- Some super good film people in West Michigan. I’m excited to meet some more on a few more projects this month
- Concert gigs are happening for me right now. We’ll see what comes of that
- it seems like celebrity Christianity is almost always a train wreck.
- My Red Wings lost the Stanley Cup
- Nutritious food is expensive
- I really enjoyed the movie “Traitor”. It was advertised completely different than it’s true content. Probably because it’s about Islam.
- We won’t have t.v. or the internet in our apartment, and it’s a great thing
- I’m thankful for music.

“The deeds of faithless men I hate;
they will not cling to me.
Men of perverse heart shall be far from me;
I will have nothing to do with evil.

Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret,
him will I put to silence;
whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart,
him will I not endure.

My eyes will be on the faithful in the land,
that they may dwell with me;
he whose walk is blameless
will minister to me.”
– Psalm 101:3-6

Filed under: Life , Dave Ramsey, Finances, Jobs, Life, Love, Poor, Psalm 101:3-6, Red Wings, Rich, Stephanie, Wife

How to Live

Photocred: Mike Dalton

When I think of truly living, I get these visions of nature and of me conquering it. I see myself diving from mossy cliffs into shimmering, calming bodies of water. I imagine myself biking through wide, endless scenery containing smatterings of “The Lion King” like trees and “The Jungle Book” postured forests. I’m fast in every fleeting effigy. Capable and Invincible.

I find myself trying to replicate these adrenaline addicting illustrations in the real world. But it’s pretty hard to be indestructible and timeless. What if my dreams were unchained from my own universe and opened up to the lives and successes of others? What if my libido was to see the people around me and the people I’ve never met find fulfillment and joy in the passions they pursued, and so on? What kind of world and community would that create?

I know that life would be easier if I had a manual. As a Christian, I’ve heard “The Bible is your road map” analogy many times. And I believe in the meaning behind it’s origin. But it’s not literal to my life. Sometimes I just want a step by step guide to my experiences and doorways and cityscapes. Having it all lined up would please my compulsive and controlling tendencies.

Since we don’t get that luxury, I try to spot wisdom as it’s dropped on me. I try to grab the Knowledge Water Buffalo by the horns as it’s passing through to the next grassland. Here are some things I’ve picked up through failure, success, and the wisdom of great men and women I’ve had the blessing of coming in contact with (and in no particular order):

- Love God
- Be quick to seek the Lord in times of sorrow and destitution, and in times of great joy and blessing
- Pray. Pray first and often
- Thank the people in your life, and Thank God
- Read the Bible
-  Journal
- Humble yourself as often as possible. Your personal glory with be your downfall.
- Question all of it.
- Be in contact with all the people who have meant something to your life, whether you are in touch with them or not
- Exercise, Take vitamins, Eat right, Drink lots of water
- Think first, and outside of the normal answer
- Just love
- Find the good in others, and find out how to treat them right
- Live honestly and courageously. God does not foster fear.
- See all perspectives in every situation and have understanding and compassion
- Tithe and give and give away
- Completely and passionately surrender of your life to God’s will
- Don’t worry about what’s the right or what is the wrong thing to do, worry about what the    most loving thing to do is.
- Be Love to all people. Introduce yourself
- Have “Set Ears”. Always be listening, and show that you are aware
- Those who are given much, much is expected from. A.k.a.You live in America.
- Intercede in Prayer
- Make the time for God, and don’t multitask that time away.
- Stop settling for less. Man up and make it happen. Look at all the possible angles, don’t just take the first available. Think about it.

Definitely too short, and not enough Buffalo wrestled. By no means do I have it figured out either, or even down to a workable system. I am not good at doing the things I listed. But it’s encouraging and motivating to know that at one time or another I came to realize one of the those points and I became consumed with the desire to live courageously and with great integrity. And having those memories flood back all at once whenever I see this list gives me an appetite to live my life to the fullest extent of it’s length, however long that may be.

Filed under: Life , Christianity, courage, God, Guide to Life, How to, How to live, Knowledge, Knowledge Water Buffalo, Life, Love, Water Buffalo, Wisdom

Let the tug at your heart pull you there

Filed under: Life, Whatever , Comfort Zone, Cost, courage, Heart, Life, Love

Sloth (Do you hate your life?)

“Sloth is not about laziness. It’s not about taking time to rest or failing to be a good little capitalist. Sloth is about indifference – indifference toward soul, indifference towards other human beings, indifference towards the world, indifference towards God.”

“We shouldn’t picture sloth as a laid-back couch potato. Sloth is more like the grim reaper. It is the messenger of death who, with bony fingers, pokes the spots in our lives that ought to be thriving and watches them atrophy.”

“At it’s core, sloth moves us away from everything that ultimately matters and hands us diversions instead. Drug users, TiVo addicts and excessive video gamers may be poisoned by sloth, but so are most workaholics, for sloth is content to aim us at either lethargy or fanaticism. it only matters that the target of our energies is worthless.”

“All people fail – and fail miserably. Even at our best, you and I might find ourselves caught in cycles of addiction and black hearted thinking – a war against our souls. And it is here that we prove whether or not we are truly alive, for the living do not accept imprisonment. Even after years of enslavement to such habits, the living will once again rise up and scream, ‘I hate the way my life is being lived, and I need something different!’”

“Angst at our lifestyles is not a sign of failure – it is a sign that our hearts still beat.”

- All quotes from Jeff Cook, found in “Seven: The Deadly Sins and The Beatitudes”

Filed under: Life, Literature , Alive, Dead, Do something, Fanaticism, Jeff Cook, Laziness, Life, Seven: The Dealy Sins and The Beatitudes, Sloth, Wake up!, Worthless

Get it?

Filed under: Life , Get it?, Life, Pop Psycology, Understanding

Triumph of the Will

I wasn’t sure what day it was until about 15 minutes ago when I logged onto my computer. I’ve been working 16 and 11 hour days on a sweet film crew this week. Sleep becomes so necessary in these times. I don’t remember falling into slumber the night before though. It’s almost like being in a coma. Time just kind of passed while I was gone. While that sounds depressing, (or maybe it sounds like sleep) it’s actually a killer deal. Making movies and telling stories is enough.

I teared up the other day just thinking about all the joy breathing, life sparking, and heart warming people I’ll be leaving behind in less than 2 weeks. Orlando has been such a huge segment of my life. These 2 years have molded, shaped, trimmed, and severed.

I’m leaving with a better understanding of my life as a whole. I’m cherishing the quiet times. (If you don’t take at least and hour away from technology, then re-evaluate.) I saw what it looks like to be a follower of Jesus Christ, and who I want to be as a man. I wussed out of confrontation and decision making time and time again, and I manned up and stood tall more than I ever have before.

I’m coming back into the arms of my woman, my heartbeat, the person who can’t even be described in a dream because she’s so vivid. I will marry her, and I will sustain her, and I will revere her, and I will value her, and I will get all of those things wrong so many times, and I will come back even harder the next time in hopes of honoring and respecting her.

I’m coming back to stay with my parents for a week or two before I move to the west side of Michigan. I’m going on a road trip with my Mom. Maybe a semi-truck outing with my Dad. Then I’m off to a new beginning. My sister lives in Grand Rapids now, and it feels good to know I can be there for her to call when she needs a spider evacuated or an appliance figured out.

If I stand still long enough in fear, I’ll have missed the point. If I stand still long enough in reverence, I won’t be able to hide the smile the leaks out what my heart is saying: I’ve lived a fortunate life that I don’t deserve.

Filed under: Life , Stephanie, Florida, Michigan, Dad, Mom, Life, Orlando, Moving, Grand Rapids, Nikki, Sister, Wife, Sleep, Working hard, Comatose, Revelry, Reverence, Romance

This is Rest.

I sit on Boyd and Aaron’s balcony.
I’m couch crashing here for awhile.
There are hornets.
I’m sitting and praying
They’re dancing and sashaying
We can live in this space together.

I see the wart that keeps reappearing on my left ring finger.
I lean over the faded railing and spit.
I think about the jobs I don’t have yet.
I think about the people I’m away from.
I think about the girl I’m away from.
I think about the people who’ve left their mark on my life
Those who’s footprints are still soft and warm inside my heart.
They’ve left my doorstep is all.
We have
memories
future plans
1,000 laughs
wide-spread, arm-length, vice-clamping embraces
and Facebook.

I sit in this plastic chair
Moments ago I just cleaned off what looked like rat poop
And I recline
I’m listening to Followed by Ghosts
And there’s a fountain I can hear
And there’s the sun behind the clouds.
Air conditioning doesn’t have a place to stay today.

Orlando will be in my rear view mirror soon.
I love it so much here.
But I love it so much wherever Stephanie is
And I love it so much when I get to live out my dreams in a career format
And I love new places and new faces and new graces

The community I’ve lived in here has prepared me
To continue creating community wherever I may be.
Being love
Being mercy
Being wise
Wanting to be all these things that I believe in so much

Being like these hornets
Pushed by the wind
Shot down from the sky
Path temporarily diverted
Destination still the same

I dedicate this writing to more and more balcony days.

Filed under: Life, Poetry , Balcony, Balcony Days, Beautiful Day, Contemplation, Grace, Hornets, Knowledge, Life, Love, Mercy, Orlando, Rest, Thoughts, Wisdom

I think I’m supposed to know things now.

This month ahead is the transition of all transitions. I will be:

Graduating

Living out of a suitcase

Experiencing every minute I can with the people down here who give me hope

Investing every second in those who’ve lost it

Breathing in and tasting every morsel of Orlando one last time around

Watering my future with the sweat of my brow

Learning how to become a better friend, son, and Christ follower

Learning how to become a man, husband, and a responsible human being

Leaning on people just as much as I hope to be leaned on

Giving away and Surviving on necessities.

Moving near the woman I call home and marrying her

Carving out a trail that I’m scared of now, but will probably look back when it’s through and know the seed I’ve sewn and the trees I’ve planted are reason enough to live this way.

April. I. DARE. you.

Filed under: Life , Choices, Christ, courage, Fear, Future, Graduation, Home, Life, Marriage, Moving, New, Orlando, Responsibility