Wind Chaser

“I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after wind.”
- Ecclesiastes 1:14

“Thus I considered all my activities which my hands had done and the labor which I had exerted, and behold all was vanity and striving after wind and there was no profit under the sun.”
- Ecclesiastes 2:11

“So I hated life, for the work which had been done under the sun was grievous to me; because everything is futility and striving after wind.”
- Ecclesiastes 2:17

“I have seen that every labor and every skill which is done is the result of rivalry between a man and his neighbor. This too is vanity and striving after wind.”
- Ecclesiastes 4:4

“What the eyes see is better than what the soul desires. This too is futility and a striving after wind.”
- Ecclesiastes 6:9

I see a pattern.

The guy who wrote Ecclesiastes, Solomon, was the king of Israel, and he was smart. Dude was a righteous judge, the wealthiest man alive at the time, and a regular Casanova with all the poetry he wrote. That doesn’t mean perfection though. He had his fair share of mistakes, and throughout every self seeking endeavor and acquisition he found himself left with a tremendous emptiness.

I don’t have the accolades or the achievements that Solomon had, but it’s good to know someone in his esteemed position was feeling the way I sometimes feel. I want success. I want to do great things. I. I. I. But If I’m in it for my own selfish desires, what gets accomplished?

“It’s striving after the wind.”

Sometimes I lose sight of the people around me. I forget those that have helped me through. I forget those that I’ve wronged. I forget my family and my God, who happen to fall into both categories. I forget those in need of someone to take a stand for them.

I want to do things that matter. Even if it’s never seen.

Filed under: Life , Championship, Chasing the Wind, Don't believe the Hype, Ecclesiastes, King Solomon, Quotes, Selfishness, Selflessness, Success, The Golden Rule, Vanity

Culture can kill

“Hey, lemme tell you the problem with America, okay?

This could be the greatest place on Earth. It really could. You got all these different people comin’ here to get away from oppression an’ poverty, all lookin’ for a better life. But what do they do? They hang on to all those things that got them into trouble in the first place. They wanna go on fightin’ the same wars an’ hatin’ the same people they did in the old world.

They all wanna be Italian or Greek or Irish or Polish or Russian or African or Vietnamese or Cambodian or whatever…so they hang on to alla that, they stick to their own kind, an’ everyone stays suspicious of everyone else. An’ for what?! Culture? History? What the hell is that, a bunch of stuff your folks said you hadda believe in all your life? Does that make it real?”
- Hitman #34 by Garth Ennis and John McCrea

Sometimes the beautiful things that make up our pieces and parts can become the decaying things that are stunting our growth as a society. But this isn’t a black and white statement by any means. You can’t throw heritage and culture out the window, and I don’t think that’s what Ennis and McCrea meant at all. I do think they found a pressure point though: the further we push ourselves away from each other, the further away peace becomes.

Filed under: Politics , America, Culture, Garth Ennis, Hitman, Hitman #34, John McCrea, Peace, Quotes

Content makes poor men rich

I had to have my “Financial Aid Exit Interview” this morning. That’s where you give the school human references and sign the paperwork saying you are aware that you and your family will be hunted like fugitives if you decide not to recoup. The lady who’s job it was to inform me of my deficit seemed depressed, like the loans were hers to pay. If I remember correctly, it started to rain, I stepped in dog poop as I walked out the door, and a kitten was hit by a car.

Debt is real now. I always knew it was there. I’ve been preparing. It’s time to put on the red puffy gloves and face the challenges ahead. It’s time to be confident in my budgeting, freed from the shackles of money, thrifty in my spending, thankful for my blessings, and trusting in my God.

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his lifea?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.
29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.
30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’
32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
- Matthew 6: 25-34

I’m accountable in 6 months to begin repaying politically correct bookies the money I owe them. I’m going into an industry that will soke up my time and my life If I don’t stay awake. I’m marrying a woman who makes it all bearable. I think things are going to be great.

Filed under: Life , Challenges, Debt, Finances, Full Sail University, God, Life, Loans, Matthew 6: 25-34, Quotes, School, Worry

“Sex, Economy, Freedom & Community” by Wendell Berry

I love clear definitions and explanations. I like information to be contained within a perfect dichotomy and broken down into pieces for better compartmentalization. And I really dig the organization of thought and ideas. So in a way, Wendell Berry is the Trish, Mark and Matt of Essay writing. He writes in a passionate and effective way that is both comprehensible and meaningful.

I’ve been interested by the topic of true community since I moved down to Orlando almost 2 years ago and became part of a church community who wanted the same thing. Berry has a very unique view on the topic, being both a Stegner fellow at Standford University and a Tobacco farmer in a small Kentucky town. (One of my favorite portions is when he devotes a section of the book to arguing with himself about the controversy of tobacco farming in this day and age.)

But along with community, he digs deeper into similarly important societal issues, such as an honest look at human sexuality and a view of the economy and environment that is much more heartfelt and true than most “Go Green” campaigns.

If you want to see the world in a different light, give Berry a try. If you are willing to metaphorically crack your skull, apply spreaders, and take a deeper look into the way you think about yourself and the world around you, get readin’.

a few excerpts:

“Nobody who understands the history of justice or of the imagination wants to be treated as a member of a category.”

“It is not possible to look at the present condition of our land and people and find support for optimism. We must not fool ourselves. It is altogether conceivable that we may go right along with this business of ‘business,’ with our curious religious faith in technological progress, with our glorification of our own greed and violence always rationalized by our indignation at the greed and violence of others, until our land, our world, and ourselves are utterly destroyed. We know from history that massive human failure is possible. It is foolish to assume that we will save ourselves from any fate that we have made possible simply because we have the conceit to call ourselves Homo sapiens.”

“In the name of honesty and sanity we must recognize the limits of politics. It is, after all, much easier to improve a policy than it is to improve the community the policy attempts to affect. And it is also probable that some changes required by conservation cannot be politically made and that some necessary changes will have to be made by the governed without the help or approval of the government.”

“Most people aren’t using or destroying what they can see. If we cannot see our garbage or the grave we have dug with our energy proxies, then we assume that all is well.”

“Sex, like any other necessary, precious, and volatile power that is commonly held, is everybody’s business. A way must be found to entitle everybody’s legitimate interest in it without either violating its essential privacy or allowing its unrestrained energies to reduce necessary public procedures to the level of a private quarrel. For sexual problems and potentialities that have a more-than-private interest, what is needed are common and shared forms and solutions that are not, in the usual sense, public.”

“Most people apparently see the sexual pretension and posturing of singers, athletes, and movie stars as some kind of high achievement, not the laughable inanity that it really is.”

“The ‘conservatives’ more or less attack homosexuality, abortion, and pornography, and the ‘liberals’ more or less defend them. Neither party will oppose sexual promiscuity. The ‘liberals’ will not oppose promiscuity because they do not wish to appear intolerant of ‘individual liberty’. The ‘conservatives’ will not oppose promiscuity because sexual discipline would reduce the profits of corporations, which in their advertisements and entertainments encourage sexual self-indulgence as a way of selling merchandise.”

Filed under: Literature , Books, Community, Economy, Freedom, Human Sexuality, Life, Literature, Quotes, Reading, Sex, Wendell Berry

The warm, comforting touch of Jerry Orbach

“Law & Order” is a comfort food. It’s macaroni and cheese with a side of mashed potatoes and chocolate ice cream for dessert. It’s not too complex. Don’t get me wrong – there are hard working people that make this show happen. They are part of a complex shooting schedule and have to meet treacherous writing deadlines. By all means they run a tight ship.

The simplicity here is in the story. Opening: Something illegal has happened to someone by someone yet to be known. The police find out, and are on the hunt. Middle: We are thrown off target by someone who looks like they did it, but it was really that other other somebody we saw near the beginning. Closing: The criminal someone is put on trial, and we are left with a moral dilema.

The above is the break down of most storytelling since cavemen and flint chisels. Television shows come and television shows go abiding by that formula. But “Law & Order” still remains. There are millions of “Law & Order” fans around the country. Where is the staying power being harness and generated?

It’s familiar. It’s safe. It’s predictable. Everything to the contrary of my film school training. And upon closer inspection, it’s what I want. I don’t have to worry about Sam Waterson giving plumbing a try. I know that cops with get the robbers.

I’m living a “Law & Order” lifestyle. I want the safe. I want the predictable. Because that would mean I’m in control. That would mean I’m financially secure. That would mean things would pan out the way I intended and I would look smart and savvy.

When will I see true surrender of my badge and baton? It’s more like a hall monitor’s sash anyways.When will I be free from the slavery of money? Being thrifty and cheap is not being chainless.

“Remember the days of old;
consider the years of many generations;
ask your father, and he will show you,
your elders, and they will tell you.
When the Most High gave to the nations their inheritance,
when he divided mankind,
he fixed the borders of the peoples
according to the number of the sons of God.
But the LORD’s portion is his people,
Jacob his allotted heritage.
He found him in a desert land,
and in the howling waste of the wilderness;
he encircled him, he cared for him,
he kept him as the apple of his eye.
Like an eagle that stirs up its nest,
that flutters over its young,
spreading out its wings, catching them,
bearing them on its pinions,
the LORD alone guided him,
no foreign god was with him.”
- Deuteronomy 32: 7-12

Filed under: Life , Comfort, Control, Deuteronomy 32: 7-12, Faith, Fear, Finances, Jerry Orbach, Law and Order, Life, Money Slave, Quotes, Trust

Set Your Goals

I want to be sufficient. To be what’s needed without being in excess. I want to get down to the core and break out of this crocodile skin covered comatose. I want to live in a way where I don’t need New Year’s resolutions because I’m proud of the way I lived the year before.

Less want, more do.

Friends getting married. A thesis project coming to acme. The future is around the bend, and I don’t know if my plans are my plans alone or if they will sync up with a greater Will. I pray for guidance, fortitude, purpose, and obedience.

Lord, let me finish well.

“It’s not important what you feel. In fact, it’s utterly unimportant what you feel. It’s only important what you do.”
– Michael’s Law Professor in “The Reader”

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”
– Proverbs 16:9

Filed under: Life , courage, Faith, Fortitude, Goals, God, Guidance, Heart, Obedience, Quotes, Set Your Goals

Boo.

Halloween, as appropriately as ever, snuck up on me this year. Didn’t see it coming.

Finally rode Critical Mass today. After 6 failed attempts, the 7th try was a charm. And I’m sad I missed the other 6.

Two more months of 2008. Four more days until a new president is chosen. Twenty four days until I see the girl that makes my heart play the tympani.

The projects keep building. The van gets worse. The world keeps turning.

“You know that I’m a God fearing man,
You know that I’m a God fearing man,
But I just gotta know if its part of your plan
To seat my daughters there by your right hand
I know that you’ll do what is right, Lord.
For they are the lanterns, and you are the light.

Now I’m overcome,
By the light of day.
My lips are near but my heart is far away.
Tell me what to say,
I’ll be your mouthpiece!”

“Antichrist Television Blues” – Arcade Fire

Filed under: Life , Antichrist, Arcade Fire, As the World Turns, biking, Critical Mass, Halloween, Quotes

What is the opposite of wanderlust?

Because that’s how i feel right now. I’ve read wandering described as pointless movement. And using that definition, it’s not what I want. I’ve always been a control freak and an overzealous planner. But I’m not even talking about having every piece of the puzzle known. I’m talking about moving in directions with goals in mind. I might not know the outcome yet, but I am content in knowing that I’m traveling with purpose.

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
- Psalm 119:105

That verse has been finding me this past month. It’s come up in several conversations with friends, and it’s leaving it’s mark on my spirit. God doesn’t always give you the pillar of fire to see what’s ahead, but you are always given a foot lamp in the right direction.

Filed under: Life , Direction, Faith, Foot Lamp, God, Guidance, Pathway Lights, Plans, Psalm 119:105, Quotes, Wanderlust, Wisdom

I’ll never regret this.

The weeks ahead don’t get any less busy. Side jobs out the sides. Creative projects transforming from idea to fruition. Growing responsibilities in every aspect of my life.

Far too often I make the mistake of trading integrity, passion, honesty, humility, motivation, consistency, how I feel, and what I believe – for social standing, fear, what others think of me, how smart I look, personal gain, laziness, hiding my flaws, not standing up for something, and not coming through for somebody.

Half the time I don’t even realize that I’ve arranged to forfeit. And ignorance might be the worst mistake of all.

I’m loved and protected by a God who holds fast, strong, and true. I’ve never felt safer.

From The Message translation. Intended to plant Isaiah 50:7, but I liked the whole batch below:

“The Master, God, opened my ears,
and I didn’t go back to sleep,
didn’t pull the covers back over my head.
I followed orders,
stood there and took it while they beat me,
held steady while they pulled out my beard,
Didn’t dodge their insults,
faced them as they spit in my face.
And the Master, God, stays right there and helps me,
so I’m not disgraced.
Therefore I set my face like flint,
confident that I’ll never regret this.
My champion is right here.
Let’s take our stand together!
Who dares bring suit against me?
Let him try!
Look! the Master, God, is right here.
Who would dare call me guilty?
Look! My accusers are a clothes bin of threadbare
socks and shirts, fodder for moths!”
- Contained in Isaiah 50:4-9

Filed under: Life, Movies, Whatever , Busy, Creativity, Flaws, Forfeiting, God, Ignorance, Integrity, Isaiah 50:7, Mistakes, Passion, Quotes, Regret, Shame, The Message

My dad loves bluegrass music.

And when I hear it, it makes me miss him.

This month is Editing and Resume-ing. One is great, one is okay. I’m a “CEO” in my Resume-ing class, so I have a fictional ARG company, and I have to hire my classmates. So weird.

I’ve always loved music, but I feel like I’ve rediscovered it’s sassy beauty this month.

October Loves:
Kings of Leon
Arcade Fire
Peter Gabriel
Ra Ra Riot
The Republic Tigers
Aaron Sprinkle

I watched Forrest Gump today and teared up about 5 times. And I would all over again if I watched it in the next 5 minutes. I love it when a man conquers the false odds set against him by his peers, acquaintances and loved ones.

Friends and new relationships are popping up all over the place. People are good. Seriously, try them sometime.

The last two weeks in a nutshell: Photography, Intentionality, Laughs, Bros, Hugs, Conversations, Spiritual realization, Humility, Anxiousness, Yearning, Job offers, Loan offers, Top poppers, Jaw droppers, and Michigan Sports floppers.

“The moment you find the light and realize that the world is in the dark, run away with your match, and lend somebody else a light.”
- Charles Spurgeon

Filed under: Life, Music , Aaron Sprinkle, Arcade Fire, Bluegrass, Charles Spurgeon, Dad, Forrest Gump, Kings of Leon, October, Overcoming Odds, Peter Gabriel, Quotes, Ra Ra Riot, Rhymes, The Republic Tigers